Book 10

The next day how my master the gardener sped I know not, but the gentle soldier, who had been so well beaten for his exceeding cowardice, led me from my manger to his lodging (as it seemed to me) without the contradiction of any man. There he laded me well, and garnished my body for the way like an ass of arms. For on the one side I bare a helmet that shined exceedingly; on the other side a target that glittered more a thousandfold; and on the top of my burden he had put a long spear. Now these things he placed thus gallantly, not because such was the rule of arms, but to the end he might make fear those which passed by, when they saw such a similitude of war piled upon the heap of baggage. When we had gone a good part of our journey, over the plain and easy fields, we fortuned to come to a little town, where we lodged, not at an inn, but at a certain corporal's house. And there the soldier took me to one of the servants, while he himself went carefully towards his captain, who had the charge of a thousand men.

When we had remained there a few days, I understood of a wicked and mischievous deed committed there, which I have put in writing, to the end you may know the same. The master of the house had a young son instructed in good literature, and therefore endowed with virtuous manners, but especially with shamefastness, such a one as you would desire to have the like. Now his mother died a long time before, and then his father married a new wife, and had another child, that was now of the full age of twelve years.

This stepdame was more excellent in beauty than honesty in her husband's house; for she loved this young man her son-in-law, either because she was unchaste by nature, or because she was enforced by fate to commit so great a mischief. Gentle reader, thou shalt not read of a fable, but rather a tragedy, and must here change from sock to buskin.1 This woman, when little Cupid first began to do his work.in her heart, could easily resist his weak strength, and pressed down in silence her desire and inordinate appetite, by reason of shame and fear; but after that Love compassed and burned with his mad fire every part of her breast, she was compelled to yield unto this raging Cupid, and under colour of disease and infirmity of her body to conceal the wound of her restless mind. Every man knoweth well the signs and tokens of love, and how that sickness is convenient to the same, working upon health and countenance; her countenance was pale, her eyes sorrowful, her knees weak, her rest disturbed, and she would sigh deeply by reason of her slow torment; there was no comfort in her, but continual weeping and sobbing, in so much you would have thought that she had some spice of an ague, saving that she wept unreasonably. The physicians knew not her disease 2 when they felt the beating of her veins, the intemperance of her heat, the sobbing sighs, and her often tossing on every side; no, no, the cunning physicians knew it not, but a scholar of Venus' court might easily conject the whole, seeing one burning Without any bodily fire. So after that she had been long time tormented in her overmastering affection, and was no more able to keep silence, she caused her son to be called for (which word " son " she would fain put away, that she might not be rebuked of shame). Then he, nothing disobedient to the commandment of his ailing mother, with a sad and modest countenance, wrinkled like some old grand-sire, came with due obedience into the chamber of his stepdame, the mother of his brother; but she, feeing utterly wearied with the silence that she had kept so long to her torment, was in great doubt what she might do; for she rejected within herself every word which she had before thought most apt for this meeting, and could not tell what to say first, by reason of her shame which still trembled before its fall. This young man even then suspecting no ill, with humble courtesy and downcast countenance demanded the cause of her present disease. Then she, having found the occasion to utter her wicked intent, put on boldness, and with weeping eyes and covered face began with trembling voice to speak unto him in this manner: Thou, thou art the original cause of my present dolour; but thou too art my medicine and only health, for those thy comely eyes have so pierced through these eyes of mine and are so fastened within my breast, that they have kindled therein a raging and a roaring fire. Have pity therefore upon me that die by thy fault, neither let thy conscience reclaim to offend thy father, when as thou mayest save his wife for him from death. Moreover, since as thou dost resemble thy father's shape in every point, I do justly fancy thee, seeing his image in thy face. Now is ministered unto thee time and place; now hast thou occasion to work thy will, seeing that we are alone. And it is a common saying: ' Never known, never done.'

This young man, troubled in his mind at so sudden an ill, although he abhorred to commit so great a crime, yet he would not be rashly stern to undo her yet more with a present denial, but warily pacified her mind with delay of promise. Wherefore with long speech he promised her to do all according to her desire: and in the mean season, he willed his mother to be of good cheer, and comfort herself and look to her health, till as he might find some convenient time to come unto her, when his father was ridden forth: wherewithal he got him away from the pestilent sight of his stepdame. And knowing that this matter touching the ruin of all the whole house needed the counsel,of wise and grave persons, he went incontinently to a sage old man, a tutor, and declared the whole circumstance. The old man, after long deliberation, thought there was no better mean to avoid the storm of cruel fortune to come than to run away. In the mean season this wicked woman, impatient of any delay how little soever, egged her husband to ride abroad to visit some far lands that he had: then she, maddened by the hope that had now (as she thought) grown rife, asked the young man the accomplishment of his promise; but he, to avoid the sight of her whom he hated, would find always excuses from appearing before her, till in the end she understood by the various colour of the messages which he sent her that he nothing regarded her. Then she, in her fickle mood, by how much she wickedly loved him before, by so much and more she hated him now. And by and by she called one of her servants who had come with her among her dowry, the worst of all and ready to all mischiefs, to whom she declared all her treacherous secrets. And there it was concluded between them two, that the surest way was to kill the young man: whereupon this varlet went incontinently to buy poison, which he mingled with wine, to the intent he would give it the innocent young man to drink, and thereby presently to kill him.

But while the guilty ones were in deliberation how they might offer it unto him, behold, here happened a strange adventure. For the young son of that evil woman that came from school at noon (being very thirsty after his dinner) took the pot wherein the poison was mingled, and ignorant of the hidden venom drank a good draught thereof, which was prepared to kill his brother: whereby he presently fell down to the ground dead. His schoolmaster,1 annoyed by this sudden chance, called his mother and all the servants of the house with a loud voice. Incontinently when the poisoned cup was known every man declared his opinion touching the death of the child; but the cruel woman, the signal example of stepmother's malice; was nothing moved by the bitter death of her son, or by her own conscience of parricide, or by the misfortune of her house, or by the dolour of her husband, or by the affliction of this death, but rather devised the destruction of all her family to fulfil her desire to be avenged. For by and by she sent a messenger after her husband to tell him the great misfortune which happened after his departure. And when he came home the wicked woman, putting on a bold face beyond all reason, declared that her son had been taken off with his brother's poison. And so far she spoke no lie, inasmuch as the boy had forestalled the death that was prepared for the young man; but she feigned that he had been for this reason murdered by his brother's crime, because she would not consent to his evil will which he had had towards her, and told him divers other leasings, adding in the end that he threatened with his sword to kill her likewise, because she discovered the fact. Then the unhappy father was stricken with a double storm of dolour at the death of his two children, for on the one side he saw his younger slain before his eyes, on the other side he seemed to see the elder condemned to die for his offences both of incest and of parricide, and where he beheld his dear wife lament in such sort, it gave him further occasion to hate his son more deadly.

But the funerals of his younger son were scarce finished, when the old man the father, even at the return from the grave, with weeping eyes and his white hair befouled with ashes went apace to the justice and worked with all his might for the destruction of his remaining son, accusing him of the incest that he had attempted, of the slaughter of his brother, and how he threatened to slay his wife; knowing naught of that wicked woman's wiles, he besought the magistrates with tears and prayers, yea, even embracing their knees, for this son's death. Hereby with weeping and lamentation he inflamed all the elders and the people as well to pity and indignation, in so much that without any delay of trial or further inquisition or the careful pleading of defenders they cried all that he should be stoned to death, to the end that this public crime might be publicly revenged; but the justices, fearing lest a farther inconvenience might arise to themselves by a particular vengeance, and to the end there might fortune from a little beginning no sedition amongst the people with public riot, prayed the decurions and the people of the city to proceed by examination of witnesses on both sides, like good citizens, and with order of justice according to the ancient custom; for the giving of any hasty sentence or judgement without hearing of the contrary part, such as the barbarous and cruel tyrants accustom to use, would give an ill example in time of peace to their successors.

This safe opinion pleased every man; wherefore the senators and counsellors were called by an herald, who, being placed in order according to their dignity, caused first the accuser and then only the defender (again by the voice of the herald) to be brought forth, and by the example of the Athenian law, and judgement of Mars' hill, their advocates were commanded to plead their causes briefly, without preambles or motions of the people to pity. (And if you demand how I understand all this matter, you shall understand that I heard many declare the same in talking among themselves, but to recite what words the accuser used in his invective, what answer and excuses the defender made, in fine the orations and pleadings of each party, verily this I am not able to do, for I was fast bound at the manger; but as I learned and knew by others, I will, God willing, declare unto you.) So it was ordered that after the pleadings of both sides was ended, they thought best to try and bolt out the verity of the charges by witnesses, all presumptions and likelihoods set apart in so great a case, and to call in chiefly the servant, who only was reported to know all the matter. By and by this rope-ripe slave came in, who, nothing abashed at the fear of so great a judgement, or at the presence of the judges in conclave, or at his own guilty conscience, began to tell and to swear as true all those lies which he so finely feigned. With a bold countenance he presented himself before the justices, and confirmed the accusation against the young man, saying: O ye judges, on a day when this young man loathed and hated his stepmother he called me, desiring me to poison his brother, whereby he might revenge himself, and if I would do it, and keep the matter secret, he promised to give me a good reward for my pains; but when the young man perceived that I would not accord to his will, he threatened to slay me: whereupon he went himself and bought poison, and after tempered it with wine, and then gave it me to give to the child; but when he thought that I did it not, but kept it to be a witness of his crime, he offered it to his brother with his own hands. When the varlet with a feigned and trembling countenance had ended these words, which seemed a likelihood of truth, the judgement was ended: neither was there found any judge or counsellor so merciful to the young man accused as would not judge him culpable, but rather gave sentence that he should be put and sewn in the leather sack for parricides.1 Wherefore, since the sentences of all were alike, and all did agree to the same verdict, there wanted nothing but (as the ancient custom was) to put the sentences into a brazen pot, and when once they were east thither, the decision of fate being finally taken, it should remain a thing irrevocable, but he would be delivered to the hands of the executioner. Then there arose a sage ancient of the court, a physician of good conscience and credit throughout all the city, that stopped the mouth of the pot that none might rashly cast his stone therein, saying thus before the assembly:

I am right glad, ye reverend judges, that I am a man of name and estimation amongst you all the days of my life, whereby I am accounted such a one as will not suffer any person to be put to death by false and untrue accusations, neither you (being sworn to judge uprightly) to be misinformed and abused by invented lies and tales of a slave. For I cannot but declare and open my conscience, lest I should be found to bear small honour and faith to the gods: wherefore I pray you give ear, and I will shew you the whole truth of the matter. You shall understand that this servant, which hath merited to be hanged, came one of these days to speak with me, promising to give me a hundred crowns if I would give him a present poison, which would cause a man to die suddenly, saying that he would have it for one that was sick of an incurable disease, to the end he might be delivered from all his torment. But I, perceiving that the varlet was talking foolishness and telling a clumsy tale, and fearing lest he would work some mischief withal, gave him a potion, yea, I gave it; but to the intent I might clear myself from all danger that might happen, I would not presently take the money which he offered: but lest any one of the crowns should lack weight or be found counterfeit, I willed him to seal the purse wherein they were put with his manual ring, whereby the next day we might go together to the goldsmith to try them. This he did, and sealed up the money; wherefore understanding that he was brought present before you this day, I hastily commanded one of my servants to fetch the purse from my house, and here I bring it unto you to see whether he shall deny his own sign or no: and you may easily conject that his words are untrue, which he alleged against the young man touching the buying of the poison, considering he bought the poison himself.

When the physician had spoken these words, you might perceive how the traitorous knave changed his colour, becoming deathly pale from the natural complexion of a man, how he sweated cold for fear, how he trembled in every part of his body, how he set one leg uncertainly before another, scratching now this, now that part of his head, and began to stammer forth some foolish trifles, his lips but half open, whereby there was ho person but would judge him culpable. In the end when he was somewhat returned to his former subtilty, he began to deny all that was said, and stoutly affirmed that the physician did lie. But the physician, besides the oath which he had sworn to give true judgement, perceiving that he was railed at and his words denied, did never cease to confirm his sayings and to disprove the varlet, till such time as the officers, by the Commandment of the judges, seized his hands and took the ring wherewith he had sealed the purse, and laid it by the seal thereon: and this augmented the suspicion which was conceived of him first. Howbeit neither the wheel nor the rack nor any other torment (according to the use of the Grecians) which were done unto him nor stripes, no nor yet the fire, could enforce him to confess the matter, so obstinate and grounded was he in his mischievous mind.

But the physician, perceiving that those torments did nothing prevail, began to say: I cannot suffer or abide that this young man who is innocent should against all law and conscience be punished and condemned to die, and the other which is culpable should escape so easily, and after mock and flout at your judgement: for I will give you an evident proof and argument of this present crime. You shall understand that when this caitiff demanded of me a present and strong poison, I considered that it was not the part of my calling to give occasion of any other's death, but rather to cure and save sick persons by mean of medicines.1 And on the other side I feared lest if I should deny his request I might by my untimely refusing minister a further cause of his mischief by some other way, either that he would buy poison of some other, or else return and work his wicked intent with a sword or some dangerous weapon. Wherefore I gave him no poison, but a soothing drink of mandragora, which is of such force that it will cause any man to sleep as though he were dead. Neither is it any marvel if this most desperate man, who is certainly assured to be put to that death which is ordained by our ancient custom, can suffer or abide these facile and easy torments. But if it be so that the child hath received the drink as I tempered it with mine own hands, he is yet alive and doth but rest and sleep, and after his sleep he shall return to life again; but if he hath been murdered, if he be dead indeed, then may you further enquire of the causes of his death.

The opinion of this ancient physician was found good, and every man had a desire to go to the sepulchre where the child was laid: there was none of the justices, none of any reputation of the town, nor any indeed of the common people, but went to see this strange sight. Amongst them all the father of the child removed with his own hands the cover of the coffin, and found his son rising up after his dead and soporiferous sleep: and when he beheld him as one risen from the dead he embraced him in his arms; and he could speak never a word for his present gladness, but presented him before the people with great joy and consolation, and as he was wrapped and bound in the clothes of his grave, so he brought him before the judges. Hereupon the wickedness of the servant and the treason of the stepdame were plainly discovered, and the verity of the matter nakedly revealed: whereby the woman was perpetually exiled, the servant hanged on a gallows, and by the consent of all the physician had the crowns to be a reward for the timely sleep which he had prepared for the child. Behold how the great and wonderful fortune of the old man brought by the providence of God to an happy end, who, thinking to be deprived of all his race and posterity, was quickly, nay in the twinkling of an eye, made the father of two children.

But as for me I was ruled and handled by fortune, according to her pleasure: for the soldier which got me without a seller and paid never a penny for me, by the commandment of his captain was sent unto Rome in course of his duty to carry letters to the great Prince, and before he went he sold me for eleven pence to two of his companions, brothers, being servants to a man of worship and wealth, whereof one was a baker, that baked sweet bread and delicates; the other a cook, which dressed with rich sauces fine and excellent meats for his master. These two lived in common, and would drive me from place to place to carry such vessels as were necessary for their master when he travelled through divers countries. In this sort I was received by these two as a third brother and companion, and I thought I was never better placed than with them: for when night came and the lord's supper was done, which was always exceedingly rich and splendid, my masters would bring many good morsels into their chamber for themselves: one would bring large rests of pigs, chickens, fish, and other good meats; the other fine bread, pastries, tarts, custards, and other delicate junkets dipped in honey. And when before meat they had shut their chamber door and went to the baths; O Lord, how I would fill my guts with those goodly dishes: neither was I so much a fool, or so very an ass, as to leave the dainty meats and grind my teeth upon hard hay. In this sort I continued a great space in my artful thieving, for I played the honest ass, taking but a little of one dish and a little of another, whereby no man mistrusted me. In the end I was more hardier and more sure that I should not be discovered, and began to devour the whole messes of the sweetest delicates, which caused the baker and the cook to suspect not a little; howbeit they never mistrusted me, but searched about to apprehend the daily thief. At length they began to accuse one another of base theft, and to keep and guard the dishes more diligently, and to number and set them in order, one by another, because they would learn what was taken away: and at last one of them was compelled to throw aside all doubting and to say thus to his fellow: Is it right or reason to break promise and faith in this sort, by stealing away the best meat and selling to augment thy private good, and yet nevertheless to have thy equal part of the residue that is left? If our partnership do displease thee, we will be partners and brothers in other things, but in this we will break off: for I perceive that the great loss which I sustain will at length grow from complaining to be a cause of great discord between us. Then answered the other: Verily I praise thy great constancy and subtileness, in that thou (when thou hast secretly taken away the meat) dost begin to complain first; whereas I by long space of time have silently suffered thee, because I would not seem to accuse my brother of a scurvy theft. But I am right glad in that we are fallen into communication of this matter, to seek a remedy for it, lest by our silence like contention might arise between us as fortuned between Eteocles 1 and his brother. When they had reasoned and striven together in this sort, they sware both earnestly that neither of them stole or took away any jot of the meat, but that they must conclude to search out the thief by all kind of means in common. For they could not imagine or think that the ass, who stood alone there, would fancy any such meats, and yet every day the best parts thereof would utterly disappear; neither could they think that flies were so great or ravenous as to devour whole dishes of meat, like the birds harpies which carried away the meats of Phineus, king of Arcadia.

In the mean season, while I was fed with dainty morsels, and fattened with food fit for men, I gathered together my flesh, my skin waxed soft and juicy, my hair began to shine, and I was gallant on every part;

but such fair and comely shape of my body was cause of my dishonour, for the baker and the cook marvelled to see me so sleek and fine, considering that my hay was every day left untouched. Wherefore they turned all their minds towards me, and on a time when at their accustomed hour they made as they would go to the baths and locked their chamber door, it fortuned that ere they departed away they espied me through a little hole how I fell roundly to my victuals that lay spread abroad. Then they marvelled greatly, and little esteeming the loss of their meat laughed exceedingly at the marvellous daintiness of an ass, calling the servants of the house, one by one and then more together, to shew them the greedy gorge and wonderful appetite of a slow beast. The laughing of them all was so immoderate that the master of the house passing by heard them, and demanded the cause of their laughter; and when he understood all the matter, he looked through the hole likewise, wherewith he took such a delectation that he had well nigh burst his guts with laughing and commanded the door to be opened, that he might see me at his pleasure. Then I, beholding the face of fortune altogether smiling upon me, was nothing abashed, but rather more bold for joy, whereby I never rested eating till such time as the master of the house commanded me to be brought out as a novelty, nay he led me into his own parlour with his own hands, and there caused all kinds of meats, which had been never before touched, to be set on the table; and these (although I had eaten sufficiently before, yet to win the further favour of the master of the house) I did greedily devour, and made a clean riddance of the delicate meats. And to prove my mild and docile nature wholly, they gave me such meat as every ass doth greatly abhor, for they put before me beef and vinegar, birds and pepper, fish and sharp sauce. In the mean season, they that beheld me at the table did nothing but laugh; then one of the wits that was there said to his master: I pray you, sir, give this feaster some drink to his supper. Marry, quoth he, I think thou sayest true, rascal; for so it may be that to his meat this our dinner-fellow would drink likewise a cup of wine. Oh, boy, wash yonder golden pot, and fill it with wine; which done, carry it to my guest, and say that I have drank to him. Then all the standers-by looked on, looking eagerly to see what would come to pass; but I (as soon as I beheld the cup) stayed not long, but at my leisure, like a good companion, gathering my lips together to the fashion of a man's tongue, supped up all the wine at one draught, while all who were there present shouted very loudly and wished me good health.

The master, being right joyful hereat, caused the baker and the cook which had bought me to come before him; to whom he delivered four times as much for me as they paid. Then he committed me to one of his most favourite freedmen, that was very rich, and charged him to look well to me, and that I should lack nothing. He obeyed his master's commandment in every point, feeding me with kindness and civility; and to the end he would creep further into his favour, he taught me a thousand qualities and tricks for his pleasure. First he instructed me to sit at the table upon my tail,1 and then how I should wrestle and dance holding up my fore feet; moreover he taught me (which was much more wonderful) how I should answer when anybody spake unto me, with lifting 1 my head if I would not anything, but bowing it if I would; and if I did lack drink, I should look still upon the minister of drink, winking first with one eye and then with the other. All which things I did willingly bring to pass, and obeyed his doctrine; howbeit I could have done all these things without his teaching, but I feared greatly lest in shewing myself cunning to do all like a man, without a master, I should portend some great and strange wonder, and as a prodigy thereby be slain and thrown out to wild vultures. But my fame was spread about in every place, and the qualities which I could do, in so much that my master was renowned throughout all the country by reason of me. For every man would say: Behold the gentleman that hath an ass that will eat and drink with him, an ass that will box, an ass that will dance, an ass that understandeth what is said to him and will shew his fantasy by signs.

But first I will tell you (which I should have done before) who my master was, and of what country. His name was Thiasus; he was born at Corinth, which is the principal town of all the province of Achaea; he had passed all offices of honour in due course according as his birth and dignity required, and he should now take upon him the degree Quinquennial 2: and now to shew his worthiness to enter upon that office, and to purchase the benevolence of every person, he appointed and promised public joys and triumphs of gladiators, to endure the space of three days. To bring his endeavour for the public favour to pass, he came into Thessaly to buy excellent beasts and valiant fighters for the purpose, and now when he had bought such things as were necessary, and was about returning home, he would not journey into his country in his fine chariots or splendid wagons, which travelled behind him in the rear, some covered and some open, neither would he ride upon Thessalian horses, or gennets of France, which be most excellent (by reason of their long descent) that can be found; but caused me to be garnished and trimmed with trappings of gold, with brave harness, with purple coverings, with a bridle of silver, with pictured clothes, and with shrilling bells, and in this manner he rode upon me lovingly, speaking and entreating me with gentle words, but above all things he did greatly rejoice, in that I was at once his servant to bear him upon my back, and his companion to feed with him at the table. After a long time when we had travelled as well by sea as land, and fortuned to arrive at Corinth, the people of the town came about us on every side, not so much to do honour unto Thiasus as to see me: for my fame was so greatly spread there, that I gained my master much money: for when the people was desirous to see me play pranks, he caused the gates to be shut, and such as entered in should pay money; by means whereof I was a profitable companion to him every day.

There fortuned to be amongst the assembly a noble and rich matron, that after that she had paid her due to behold me was greatly delighted with all my tricks and qualities, in so much that she fell marvellously in love with me, and could find no remedy to her passions and disordinate appetite, but continually desired to have her pleasure with me, like a new

Pasiphae, but with an ass. In the end she promised a great reward to my keeper for the custody of me one night, who cared for naught but for gain of a little money, and accorded to her desire. When therefore I had supped in a parlour with my master, we departed away and went into our chamber, where we found the fair matron, who had tarried a great space for our coining. Good God, how nobly all things there were prepared! there were four eunuchs that laid a bed of billowing down on the ground with bolsters accordingly for us to lie on; the coverlet was of cloth of gold and Tyrian dye, and the pillows small, but soft and tender, as whereon delicate matrons accustom to lay their heads. Then the eunuchs, not minding to delay any longer the pleasure of their mistress, closed the doors of the chamber and departed away; and within the chamber were wax candles that made light the darkness of the night all the place over. Then she put off all her garments to her naked skin, yea even the veil of her bosom, and standing next the lamp began to anoint all her body with balm, and mine likewise, but especially my nose; which done, she kissed me, not as they accustom to do at the stews or in brothel-houses, or in the courtesan schools for gain of money, but purely, sincerely, and with great affection, casting out these and like loving words: Thou art he whom I love, Thou art he whom I only desire, Without thee I cannot live, and other like preamble of talk, as women can use well enough when they mind to shew or declare their burning passions and great affection of love. Then she took me by the halter and cast me upon the bed, which was nothing strange unto me, considering that she was so beautiful' a matron, and I so well blown out with wine, and perfumed with balm, whereby I was readily prepared for the purpose. But nothing grieved me so much as to think how I should with my huge and great legs embrace so fair a matron, or how I should touch her fine, dainty, and silken skin made of milk and honey with my hard hoofs, or how it was possible to kiss her soft, her pretty and ruddy lips with my monstrous great mouth and stony teeth, or how she, who was so young and tender, could receive my love. And I verily thought if I should hurt the woman by any kind of means, I should be thrown out to the wild beasts: but in the mean season she spoke gently to me, kissing me oft, and looked on me with burning eyes, saying: I hold thee my cony, I hold thee my nops, my sparrow, and therewithal she shewed me that all my fear was vain, for she oft-times embraced my body round about, and had her pleasure with me, whereby I thought the mother of Minotaurus did not causeless quench her inordinate desire with a bull.1 When night was passed, with much joy and small sleep, the matron went away, avoiding the light of day, so that she might not be seen, and bargained with my keeper for another night: which he willingly granted, partly for gain of money, and partly to find new pastime for my master. He, after he was informed of all the history of my luxury, was right glad, and rewarded my keeper well for his pains, minding to shew in the public theatre what I could do; but because they would not suffer that noble wife of mine to abide such shame, by reason of her dignity, and because they could find no other that would suffer even for a great reward so great a reproach, at length they obtained for money an evil woman, which was condemned to be eaten of wild beasts, with whom I should be set in a cage before the people. But first I will tell you what a tale I heard concerning her.

This woman had a husband whose father, minding to ride forth, commanded his wife, the young man's mother, which he left at home great with child, that if she were delivered of a daughter, it should incontinently be killed. Now when the time of her delivery came, it fortuned that she had a daughter born while her husband was still abroad, whom she would not suffer to be slain, by reason of the natural affection which she bare unto her child, but declined from the command of her husband and secretly committed her to one of her neighbours to nurse. And when her husband returned home, she declared unto him that she was delivered of a daughter, whom, as he commanded, she had caused to be put to death. But when this child came to the flower of her age, and was ready to be married, the mother knew not by what means she should endow her daughter without that her husband should understand and perceive it. Wherefore she could do naught but discover the matter to her son,1 as a secret greatly to be hidden and kept dark; for she greatly feared lest he should unawares be urged by the natural heat of youth and fancy or fall in love with his own sister. The young man understanding the whole matter did (according to his known and proved piety) perform both his duty to his mother and his natural obligation towards his sister; for he kept the matter utterly secret in his heart, feigning that he had towards her no more than common human kindness, and so performed the due offices of kinship and blood that he feigned that she was a neighbour's daughter desolate both of father and mother, that he would take her into the protection of his own house, and incontinently after endowed her largely with part of his own goods, and would have married her to one of his especial and trusty friends. But although he brought this to pass very religiously and sagely, yet in the end none of them could avoid the decree of cruel and envious fortune, which sowed great sedition in his house. For his wife (who was now for this condemned to beasts) waxed jealous of her husband, and began to suspect and then to hate the young woman as a harlot and common quean, in so much that she invented all manner of cruel snares to dispatch her out of the way: and in the end she invented this kind of mischief.

She privily stole away her husband's ring, and went into the country, whereas she commanded one of her servants that was trusty to her, but otherwise a faithless varlet, to take the ring and to carry it to the maiden: to whom he should declare that her brother did pray her to come into the country to him, and that she should come alone, as soon as she might, without any other person. And to the end she should not delay, but come with all speed, he did deliver her the ring, to be a sufficient testimony of his message. The maiden, being very willing and desirous to obey his commandment (for she alone knew that he was her brother) and out of respect also for his signet, went in all haste alone as the messenger willed her to do. But when she was fallen into the snare and engine which was prepared for her with such infinite cunning, the mischievous woman, like one that were mad and possessed with some ill spirit, did strip her husband's sister and scourge her first with rods from top to toe; and when the poor maiden called for help with a loud voice and declared the truth of the matter, declaring oft that he was her brother, the wicked harlot (boiling with jealousy and weening that she had invented and feigned the matter) took a burning firebrand and thrust it betwixt her thighs, whereby she died miserably.

He that should be the husband of this maiden, but especially her brother, advertised of her cruel death, came to the place where she was slain, and after great lamentation and weeping they caused her to be buried honourably. The young man,her brother, taking in ill part the miserable death of his sister, and especially the unnatural source whence it came, as it was convenient he should, conceived so great dolour within his mind, and was stricken with so pestilent fury of bitter anguish, that he fell into the burning passions of a dangerous ague; whereby he seemed in such necessity that he needed to have some speedy remedy to save his life. The woman that slew the maiden, having lost the name of wife together with her faith, went to a certain traitorous physician, who could number many such triumphs as the work of his hands, and promised him fifty pieces of gold if he would sell her a present poison that she might buy the death of her husband out of hand. This done, in presence of her husband she feigned that it was necessary for him to receive a certain kind of drink, which the masters and doctors of physic do call a sacred potion, to the intent he might purge colour and scour the interior parts of his body. But the physician, instead of that healthy drink, had prepared a mortal and deadly poison, that was rather sacred to the healing of the goddess of death, and when he had tempered it accordingly, he took the pot in presence of all the family and other neighbours and friends of the sick young man, and offered it unto the patient. But the bold and hardy woman, to the end she might destroy him that was privy to her wicked intent, and also gain the money which she had promised the physician, stayed the pot with her hand, saying: I pray you, master physician, minister not this drink unto my dear husband until such time as you have drank some good part thereof yourself. For what know I, whether you have mingled any poison in the drink or no? Wherein I pray you not to be offended, for I know that you are a man of wisdom and learning, but this I do to the intent the conscience and love that I bear to the health and safeguard of my husband may be apparent. The physician, being greatly troubled at the marvellous and stubborn wickedness of the mischievous woman, was void of all counsel and leisure to consider on the matter, and lest he might give any cause of suspicion to the standers-by, or shew any scruple of his guilty conscience, by reason of long delay, he took the pot in his hand and presently drank a good draught thereof: which done, the young man, having now no mistrust by this example, drank up the residue. When all this was finished the physician would have gone immediately home to receive a counter-poison or antidote, to expel and drive out the first poison; but the wicked woman, persevering in the constant mischief wherein she had begun, would not suffer him to depart one foot until such time (as she said)

as the potion should have begun to work, and its healthy effect be apparent; and then by much prayer and intercession she licensed him to go home. By the way the poison invaded the entrails and bowels of the whole body of the physician, in such sort that with great pain and growing heaviness he came to his own house: where he had scarce time to tell all to his wife, and to will her at least to receive the promised salary of the death of two persons, but this notable physician was violently convulsed and yielded up the ghost.

The young man also lived not long after, but likewise died, amongst the feigned and deceitful tears of his cursed wife. A few days after, when the young man was buried and the accustomed funerals and dirges ended, the physician's wife demanded of her the fifty pieces of gold which she promised for the double murder; whereat the ill-disposed woman, keeping still that same constancy in wickedness, with resemblance of honesty (for all real honesty she had cast away) answered her with gentle words, and made her large promises, particularly that she would presently give her the fifty pieces of gold, if she would fetch her a little of that same drink to proceed and make an end of all her enterprise. Then, in short, the physician's wife was caught in the snare of these wicked deceits, and to win the further favour of this rich woman ran incontinently home, and brought her the whole pot of poison; which when she saw, having now occasion to execute her further malice, she began to stretch out farther her bloody hands to murder. She had a little young daughter by her husband that was poisoned, who, according to order of law, was appointed heir of all the lands and goods of her father; but this she bore very hard, and lusting after all the child's heritage, she determined to slay it. So knowing that mothers succeed their children after such a crime, and receive all their goods after their death, she purposed to shew herself a like parent to her child as she was a wife to her husband. Whereupon at a convenient season she prepared a dinner with her own hands, and poisoned both the wife of the physician and her own daughter. The child, being young and tender, died incontinently by the deadly force of the drink; but the physician's wife, being stout and of strong complexion, feeling the strong poison creep down into her body and wander through her vitals, at first doubted the matter; and then, by her labouring breath knowing of certainty that she had received her bane, ran forthwith to the judged house, and what with her cries as she called upon him and all her exclamations, she raised up the people of the town, and promising them to reveal and shew divers wicked and mischievous acts, caused that both the doors and ears of the judge were opened. When she came in, she declared from the beginning to the end the abomination of this woman; but she had scarce ended her tale, when a whirling cloud and giddiness seized upon her mind in a fit, and shutting fast her falling lips, and grinding her teeth together, she fell down dead before the face of the judge. He, that was a ready and prudent man, incontinently would try the truth of the matter, and would not suffer the crime of this wicked woman, more venomous than any serpent, by long delays to remain hidden and unpunished, but caused the cursed woman's servants to be pulled out of the house and enforced by pain of torment to confess the verity; which being known, this mischievous woman, far less than she deserved, but because there could be no more cruel death invented for the quality of her offence, was condemned by him to be eaten of wild beasts.

Behold with this woman was I appointed to have to do in wedlock before the face of all the people; but I, being wrapped in great anguish, and fearing the day of the triumph, when we two should so abandon ourselves together, devised rather to slay myself than pollute my body with this mischievous harlot, and so be defamed as a public sight and spectacle. But it was impossible for me to do this, considering that I lacked human hands, I lacked fingers, and I was not able to draw a sword with my hoofs being round and short; howbeit I did console myself for this utter misfortune with a small ray of hope, for I rejoiced in myself that springtime was come and was now making all things bright with flourishing buds, and clothing the meadows very brightly, so that I was in good hope to find some roses now bursting through from their thorny coats and breathing forth their fragrant odours, to render me to my human shape that I had before as Lucius.

When the day of the triumph came, I was led with great pomp and magnificence to the theatre, whither when I was brought, I first saw the preamble of the triumph, dedicated with dances and merry taunting jests. In the mean season I was placed before the gate of the theatre, where on the one side I saw the green and fresh grass growing before the entry thereof, whereon I did gladly feed; and sometimes I conceived a great delectation when I saw, when the theatre gates were opened, how all things were finely prepared and set forth; for there I might see young boys and maidens in the flower of their youth, of excellent beauty and attired gorgeously, dancing and moving in comely order, according to the disposition of the Grecian Pyrrhic dance; for sometime they would trip round together, sometime in length obliquely, sometime divide themselves in four parts, and sometime loose hands and group them on every side. But when the last sound of the trumpet gave warning that every man should retire to his place from those knots and circlings about, then was the curtain taken away and all the hangings rolled apart, and then began the triumph to appear.

First there was a hill of wood, not much unlike that famous hill which the poet Homer called Ida, reared up exceeding high and garnished about with all sort of green verdures and lively trees, from the top whereof ran down a clear and fresh fountain, made by the skilful hands of the artificer, distilling out waters below. There were there a few young and tender goats, plucking and feeding daintily on the budding grass, and then came a young man, a shepherd representing Paris, richly arrayed with vestments of barbary,1 having a mitre of gold upon his head, and seeming as though he kept the goats. After him ensued another fair youth all naked, saving that his left shoulder was covered with a rich cloak such as young men do wear, and his head shining with golden hair, and as it hung down you might perceive through it two little wings of gold; and him the rod called Caduceus and the wand did shew to be Mercury. He bare in his right hand an apple of gold, and with a seemly and dancing gait went towards him that represented Paris, and after that he had delivered him the apple, he made a sign signifying that Jupiter had commanded him so to do, and when he had done his message, he departed very gracefully away. By and by behold there approached a fair and comely maiden, not much unlike to Juno; for she had a white diadem upon her head, and in her hand she bare a regal sceptre; then followed another resembling Minerva, for she had on her head a shining helmet, whereon was bound a garland made of olive-branches, having in one hand a target or shield, and in the other shaking a spear as when she would fight. Then came another, which passed the others in beauty, and represented the goddess Venus with the colour of ambrosia: but Venus when she was a maiden, and to the end she would shew her perfect beauty, she appeared all naked, saving that her fine and comely middle was lightly covered with a thin silken smock, and this the wanton wind blew hither and thither, sometime lifting it to testify the youth and flower of her age, and sometime making it to cling close to her to shew clearly the form and figure of her members; her colour was of two sorts, for her body was white, as descended from heaven, and her smock was bluish, as returning to the sea. After every one of these virgins which seemed goddesses, followed certain waiting servants; Castor and Pollux played by boys of the theatre went behind Juno, having on their heads round pointed helmets covered with stars; this virgin Juno in the Ionian manner sounded a flute which she bare in her hand, and moved herself quickly and with unaffected gait towards the shepherd Paris, shewing by honest signs and tokens and promising that he should be Lord of all Asia if he would judge her the fairest of the three, and give her the apple of gold. The other maiden, which seemed by her armour to be Minerva, was accompanied with two young men, armed and brandishing their naked swords in their hands, whereof one was named Terror, and the other Fear; and behind them approached one sounding his flute in the Dorian manner, now with shrill notes and now with deep tones to provoke and stir the dancers as the trumpet stirreth men to battle: this maiden began to dance and shake her head, throwing her fierce and terrible eyes upon Paris, and promising that if it pleased him to give her the victory of beauty, she would make him by her protection the most strong and victorious man alive. Then came Venus and presented herself, smiling very sweetly, in the middle of the theatre, with much favour of all the people. She was accompanied with a great number of little boys, whereby you would have judged them to be all Cupids, so plump and fair were they, and either to have flown from heaven or else from the river of the sea, for they had little wings and little arrows, and the residue of their habit according in each point, and they bare in their hands torches lighted, as though it had been the day and feast of marriage of their lady. Then came in a great multitude of fair maidens: on the one side were the most comely Graces; on the other side the most beautiful Seasons, carrying garlands and loose flowers which they strewed before her; and they danced very nimbly therewith, making great honour to the goddess of pleasure with these flowers of the spring.

The flutes and pipes with their many stops yielded out the sweet sound of the Lydian strain, whereby they pleased the minds of the standers-by exceedingly; but the more pleasing Venus moved smoothly forwards more and more with slow and lingering steps, gently bending her body and moving her head, answering by her motion and delicate gesture to the sound of the instruments: for sometimes her eyes would wink gently with soft motions to the music, sometimes threaten and look fiercely, and sometimes she seemed to dance only with her eyes. As soon as she was come before the judge, she made a sign and token that if he would prefer her above the residue of the goddesses, she would give him the fairest spouse of all the world and one like to herself in every part. Then the young Phrygian shepherd Paris with a willing mind delivered to Venus the golden apple, which was the victory of beauty.

Why then do ye marvel, if the lowest of the people, the lawyers, beasts of the courts,and advocates that are but vultures in gowns,1 nay,if all our judges nowadays sell their judgements for money, when as in the beginning of the world one only bribe and favour corrupted the sentence between gods and men, and that one rustical judge and shepherd, appointed by the counsel of the great Jupiter, sold his first judgement for a little pleasure, which was the cause afterwards of the ruin of all his kin? By like manner of mean was another sentence given between the noble Greeks; for the wise and excellently learned personage Palamedes was convicted and attainted of treason by false persuasion and accusation, and Ulysses, being but of moderate valour, was preferred above great Aiax of most martial prowess. What judgement was there likewise amongst the Athenian lawyers, sage and expert in all sciences? Was not the old man Socrates of divine wisdom, who was preferred by the god of Delphi above all the wise men of the world, by envy and malice of wicked persons empoisoned with the herb hemlock, as one that corrupted the youth of the country, whom in truth always he bridled and kept under by correction? Thus did he leave to the men of Athens a stain and dishonour that shall never fade, for we see nowadays many excellent philosophers greatly desire to follow his sect, and for their perpetual study for happiness to swear by his name. But to the end I may not be reproved of indignation, by any one that might say: What, shall we suffer an ass to play the philosopher to us? I will return to my former purpose.

After the judgement of Paris was ended, Juno and Pallas departed away sadly and angrily, shewing by their gesture that they were very wroth and would revenge themselves on Paris; but Venus, that was right pleased and glad in her heart, danced about the theatre with much joy, together with all her train. This done, from the top of the hill through a privy spout ran a flood of wine coloured with saffron, which fell upon the goats in a sweet-scented stream, and changed their white hair into yellow more fair: and then with a sweet odour to all them of the theatre, by certain engines the ground opened and swallowed up the hill of wood. Then behold there came a man of arms through the middle of the space, demanding by the commandment of the people the woman who for her manifold crimes was condemned to the beasts, and appointed for me to do in wedlock withal. Now was our bed finely and bravely prepared, shining with the tortoise-shell of Ind, rising with bolsters of feathers, and covered with silk and other things necessary; but I, beside the shame to commit publicly this horrible fact and to pollute my body with this wicked harlot, did greatly fear the danger of death; for I thought in myself, that when she and I were together, the savage beast appointed to devour the woman was not so instructed and taught or would so temper his greediness as that he would tear her in pieces at my side and spare me with a regard of mine innocency. Wherefore I was more careful for the safeguard of my life than for the shame that I should abide; and in the mean season, while my master diligently made ready the bed, and all the residue did prepare themselves for the spectacle of hunting and delighted in the pleasantness of the triumph, I began to think and devise for myself; and when I perceived that no man had regard to me, that was so tame and gentle an ass, I stole secretly out of the gate that was next me, and then I ran away with all my force, and came after about six miles very swiftly passed to Cenchreae, which is the most famous town of all the Corinthians, bordering upon the seas called Aegean and Saronic. There is a great and mighty haven frequented with the ships of many a sundry nation, and there because I would avoid the multitude of people, I went to a secret place of the sea-coast, hard by the sprinklings of the waves, where I laid me down upon the bosom of the sand to ease and refresh myself; for now the day was past and the chariot of the sun gone down, and I lying in this sort on the ground did fall in a sweet and sound sleep.