Chapter 4

(Enter STROBILUS.)

STROBILUS: This is the duty of a good servant, to do what I’m intending, not to consider the commands of his master a bore or trouble to him. For that servant who resolves to serve his master with hearty goodwill, him it behoves to act expeditiously for his master, slowly for himself; but if he sleeps, let him so sleep as to bethink himself that he is a servant. But he who lives in servitude to one in love, as I am serving, if he sees love overcoming his master, this I think to be the duty of the servant; to restrain him for his safety, not to impel him onwards towards his own inclination.

Just as a float of bulrushes is placed beneath boys who are learning to swim, by means of which they may labour less, so as to swim more easily and move their hands; in the same way do I consider that it is proper for the servant to be a buoy to his master thus in love, so as to bear him up lest he should go to the bottom; and so should he learn the will of his master, that his eyes should know what his mouth chooses not to speak.

What he orders, he should hasten to perform more swiftly than the swift steeds. He who shall have a care for these things, will escape the castigation of the ox’s hide, nor by his own means will he ever bring the fetters to brightness. Now, my master’s in love with the daughter of this poor man, Euclio; word has just now been brought to my master that she is given to Megadorus here:

he has sent me here to spy out, that he may be made acquainted with the things that are going on. Now, without any suspicion, I’ll sit here by the sacred altar. From this spot I shall be able, in this direction and that, to witness what they are about. (He sits by the altar, and on seeing EUCLIO, hides behind it.)

(Enter EUCLIO, from the Temple)

EUCLIO: O Goddess Faith, do thou but take care not to discover to any person that my gold is there. I have no fear that any one will find it, so well is it concealed in its hiding place.

By my troth, he will surely have a charming booty there, if any one shall meet with that pot loaded with gold. But I entreat thee, Faith, to hinder that. Now I shall go wash me, that I may perform the sacrifice; so that I may not delay my new connexion by marriage, but that, when he sends to me, he may forthwith take my daughter home. Over and over again now, Goddess Faith, do thou take care that I shall carry away the pot safe from thy Temple.

To thy fidelity have I entrusted the gold; in thy grove and Temple is it placed. (Goes into his house.)

STROBILUS: (coming from behind the altar.) Immortal Gods, what a deed did I hear this person speaking of, how that he had hidden here, in the Temple of Faith, a pot filled with gold; prithee, beware you, how you are more faithful to him than to myself! And he, as I fancy, is the father of her whom my master’s in love with.

I’ll go hence into it; I’ll thoroughly ransack the Temple, to see if I can anywhere find the gold, while he’s engaged. But if I do find it, O Goddess Faith, I’ll offer to thee a gallon jug full of honeyed wine, that I’ll surely offer to thee; but I’ll drink it up myself, when I have offered it. (Retreats behind the altar.)

(Enter EUCLIO, from his house.)

EUCLIO: (to himself.) It wasn’t for nothing that the raven was just now croaking on my left hand;

he was both scratching the ground with his feet and croaking with his voice. At once my heart began to jump about, and to leap within my breast. But why do I delay to run?

EUCLIO: (He discovers STROBILUS, and drags him from behind the altar.) Out, out, you earthworm, who have this instant crept out of the earth; who just now were nowhere seen, and now that you are seen shall die for it.

By my faith, you juggler, I’ll receive you now after a disagreable fashion. (Begins to shake and beat him.)

STROBILUS: What the curst plague does ail you? What business have you with me, old fellow? Why do you torment me? Why are you dragging me? For what reason are you beating me?

EUCLIO: You out-and-out whipping-post, do you even ask that, you, not thief, but thrice-dotted thief.

STROBILUS: What have I stolen from you?

EUCLIO: Give me that back here, if you please.

STROBILUS: What do you want me to give you back?

EUCLIO: Do you ask me that?

STROBILUS: As for me, I’ve taken nothing away from you.

EUCLIO: But give up that which you have taken away for yourself. Are you going to do so?

STROBILUS: Do what?

EUCLIO: You can’t carry it off.

STROBILUS: What do you want?

EUCLIO: Lay it down.

STROBILUS: Troth, for my part, I think that you are in the habit of quizzing, old gentleman.

EUCLIO: Put that down, please; cease your quibbling; I’m not trifling now.

STROBILUS: What am I to put down? Why don’t you mention it, whatever it is, by its own name?

By my faith, I really have neither taken nor touched anything.

EUCLIO: Show me your hands, here.

STROBILUS: Well, I do show them; see, here they are. (Holdinq out his hands.)

EUCLIO: I see them. Come, show me the third, as well.

STROBILUS: (aside.) Sprites, and frenzy, and madness, possess this old fellow. Are you doing me an injustice, or not?

EUCLIO: A very great one, I confess, inasmuch as you are not strung up; and that too shall be done this moment, un less you do confess.

STROBILUS: What am I to confess to you?

EUCLIO: What it was you took away hence.

STROBILUS: May the Gods confound me, if I’ve taken away anything of yours, (aside) and if I don’t wish I had taken it away.

EUCLIO: Come then, shake out your cloak.

STROBILUS: At your pleasure. (Shakes it.)

EUCLIO: You haven’t it among your under-clothing?

STROBILUS: Search where you please.

EUCLIO: Pshaw! how civilly the rascal speaks, that I mayn’t suppose he has taken it away! I know your tricks. Come, show me here again that right hand.

STROBILUS: Here it is. (Extending it.)

EUCLIO: Now show me your left.

STROBILUS: Well, then, I show you both, in fact. (Extending them.)

EUCLIO: Now I leave off searching. Give back that here.

STROBILUS: Give back what?

EUCLIO: Are you trifling with me? You certainly have got it.

STROBILUS: I, got it? Got what?

EUCLIO: I shan’t say; you want to hear. Whatever you have of mine, give it back.

STROBILUS: You are mad; you’ve searched me all over at your own pleasure, and yet you’ve found nothing of yours in my possession.

EUCLIO: (starting.) Stop, stop; who was that? Who was the other that was within here, together with yourself? Troth, I’m undone; he’s now rummaging about within. If I let this one go, he’ll escape. At last, I’ve now searched this one all over; he has got nothing. Be off where you please;

Jupiter and the Gods confound you!

STROBILUS: He returns his thanks not amiss.

EUCLIO: I’ll go in here now, and I’ll at once throttle this accomplice of yours. Will you not fly hence from my sight? Will you away from here, or no?

STROBILUS: I’m off.

EUCLIO: Take you care, please, how I see you. (He goes into the Temple.)

(STROBIOUS, alone.)

STROBILUS: I would rather that I were dead outright, by a shocking death, than not lay an ambush this day for that old fellow. But he’ll not venture now to hide his gold here; he’ll now be carrying it with him, I guess, and be changing the spot.

But hark! there’s a noise at the door. (Looking in the direction of the Temple.) See, the old fellow’s bringing out the gold with him! Meanwhile, I’ll step aside here to the door. (Conceals himself near the door.)

(Enter EUCLIO, from the Temple, with the pot of money.)

EUCLIO: (to himself.) I had thought that there was the very greatest dependence upon Faith; very nearly had she played me a pretty trick. If the raven hadn’t come to my assistance, to my sorrow I should have been undone.

Troth, I very much wish that raven would come to me which gave me the warning, that I might say something kind to him; for I would as soon give him something to eat as lose it. Now I’m thinking of a lonely spot where I shall hide this. The grove of Sylvanus, outside of the wall, is unfrequented, and planted with many a willow; there will I choose a spot. I’m determined to trust Sylvanus, rather than Faith. (Exit.)

STROBILUS: (re-appearing from his hiding-place.) Capital! capital! the Gods will me to be safe and preserved! Now will I run before to that place, and climb up into some tree, and thence will I watch where the old fellow hides the gold.

Although my master bade me remain here, I’m resolved rather to risk a mishap along with emolument. (Exit.)

(Enter LYCONIDES and EUNOMIA, from the house of MEGADORUS.)

LYCONIDES: I’ve told you all, mother; as well as I do myself, you understand all about the daughter of Euclio. Now, I do entreat you, my mother, make mention of it to my uncle, and I now unask of you, mother, that which before I entreated of you, to conceal this from Megadorus.

EUNOMIA: You know, yourself, that what you desire to be done, I desire, and I trust that I shall obtain this of my brother; and the reason is good, if’tis so as you say, that in a drunken fit you debauched this damsel.

LYCONIDES: Could I, my mother, tell a falsehood in your presence?

PHAEDRA: (PHAEDRA cries out in labour, in EUCLIO’S house.) I die, my nurse; my pangs are coming on! I entreat thee for thy protection, Juno Lucina!

LYCONIDES: Ah! my mother, I see a more convincing proof for you; she’s crying aloud—she’s in the pangs of labour.

EUNOMIA: Come in-doors here, with me, my son, to my brother, that I may obtain a grant from him of that which you beg of me.

LYCONIDES: Go; I’ll follow you this instant, mother. (EUNOMIA goes into the house.) But my servant, Strobilus, I wonder where he is, whom I ordered to wait here for me. Now I reflect with myself, if he’s lending me his assistance, it isn’t fair that I should be angry with him.

I’ll go in-doors, where they are sitting in judgment upon my life. (Goes into the house of MEGADORUS.)

(Enter STROBILUS, with the pot of money.)

STROBILUS: I, by myself, exceed the riches of the Griffins, who inhabit the golden mountains, For I’m unwilling to make mention of those other kings, beggarly fellows—I am the king Philip. O charming day!

for when I went from here, just now, I arrived there much the first, and, long before, I placed myself in a tree, and thence observed where the old fellow hid the gold. When he departed thence, I let myself down from the tree, and dug up the pot full of gold. Thence, from that spot,

I saw the old fellow betaking himself back again; he didn’t see me, for I turned a little on one side, out of the path. Heyday! here he comes himself. I’ll go and hide this away, at home. (Goes into the house of MEGADORUS.)

(Enter EUCLIO, tearing his hair and wringing his hands.)

EUCLIO: I’m ruined! I’m done for! I’m murdered! Whither shall I run? Whither not run? Stop him—stop him. Whom? who? I don’t know. I see nothing! I’m going blindfold; and, in fact, whither I am going, or where I am, or who I am,

I can’t in my mind find out for certain. (To the AUDIENCE.) I beseech you, give me your aid (I beg and entreat of you), and point me out the person that has taken it away. What’s the matter? Why do you laugh? I’m acquainted with you all; I know that there are many thieves here, who conceal themselves with white clothes and chalk, and sit as though they were honest! (To one of the SPECTATORS.) What say you? You I’m resolved to believe; for I perceive, even by your looks, that you are honest.

Well then, none of these has got it? You’ve been the death of me! Tell me, then, who has got it? You don’t know? Oh,wretched, wretched me! I’m done for! wofully undone! In most sorry plight I go; so much groaning, and misfortune, and sorrow, has this day brought upon me, hunger and poverty, too. I’m the most utterly ruined of all men upon the earth! For what need of life have I, who have lost so much gold that I so carefully watched? I pinched myself, and my inclinations, and my very heart! Now others are rejoicing at this, my loss and my misfortune! I cannot endure it. (He runs about, crying and stamping.)

LYCONIDES: (Enter LYCONIDES, from the house of MEGADORUS.) What person, I wonder, is this before our house lamenting, and that utters complaints with his moaning? Why,surely, this is Euclio, as I imagine. I’m utterly undone! The thing’s all out; he knows now, as I suppose, that his daughter is brought to bed. I’m in a state of uncertainty now what I shall do, whether go or remain, accost him or fly.

EUCLIO: What person is it that speaks there?

LYCONIDES: ’Tis I, wretch that I am.

EUCLIO: Yes, and so am I, and wretchedly ruined, whose lot is misfortune so great and sorrow.

LYCONIDES: Be of good courage.

EUCLIO: How, prithee, can I be so?

LYCONIDES: Because that deed which is afflicting your mind, I did it, and I confess it.

EUCLIO: What is it I hear from you?

LYCONIDES: That which is the truth.

EUCLIO: What evil, young man, have I deserved, by reason of which you should do thus, and go to ruin both me and my children?

LYCONIDES: A Divinity was my prompter; he prompted me to do it.

EUCLIO: How?

LYCONIDES: I confess that I have done wrong, and I know that I deserve censure; for that reason I’m come to beseech you, that, with feelings assuaged, you will pardon me.

EUCLIO: Why did you dare do so, to touch that which was not your own?

LYCONIDES: What do you wish to be done? The thing has been done; it can’t be undone. I believe that the Gods willed it, for if they hadn’t willed it, I know it wouldn’t have happened.

EUCLIO: But I believe that the Gods have willed that I should be the death of you in fetters.

LYCONIDES: Don’t say that!

EUCLIO: What business then have you to touch what is my own against my will?

LYCONIDES: Because I did it under the evil influence of wine and love.

EUCLIO: Most audacious man, that you should dare to come here to me with that speech, you impudent fellow! For if this is lawful, so that you may be able to excuse it—let us openly, in broad daylight, plunder their golden trinkets from ladies—after that, if we are caught, let us excuse ourselves, that we did it when intoxicated, by reason of being in love. Too cheap are wine and love, if one in liquor and in love is allowed to do with impunity whatever he pleases.

LYCONIDES: But I come to you of my own accord to supplicate you on account of my folly.

EUCLIO: Persons don’t please me, who, when they’ve done wrong, excuse themselves. You knew that you had no right there; you oughtn’t to have touched.

LYCONIDES: Therefore, inasmuch as I did dare to touch, I make no objection to keep by all means.

EUCLIO: You, keep what is my own against my will?

LYCONIDES: Against your will, I do not ask; but I think that that which was yours ought to be mine. Moreover, Euclio, you’ll find, I say, that mine it ought to be.

EUCLIO: Now really, on my word, I’ll drag you to the Praetor and take proceedings against you, unless you make restitution.

LYCONIDES: Make restitution of what to you?

EUCLIO: What you’ve stolen of mine.

LYCONIDES: I, stolen of yours? Whence, or what is it?

EUCLIO: So shall Jupiter love you, how ignorant you are about it!

LYCONIDES: Unless, indeed, you tell me what you are enquiring for.

EUCLIO: The pot of gold, I say, I’m asking back of you, which you confessed to me that you had taken away.

LYCONIDES: By my faith, I’ve neither said so, nor have I done it.

EUCLIO: Do you deny it?

LYCONIDES: Yes, I do utterly deny it; for neither the gold nor yet this pot, what it means, do I know or understand.

EUCLIO: Give me up that pot which you took away from the wood of Sylvanus. Come, give it me back! I would rather give you the one-half of it. Although you are a thief to me, I’ll not be hard upon the thief. Give it me back.

LYCONIDES: You are not in your senses, to call me a thief; I thought, Euclio, that you had come to the knowledge of another matter; as concerns myself, it is a great matter which I wish to speak with you upon at your leisure, if you are at leisure.

EUCLIO: Tell me, in good faith, have you not stolen that gold?

LYCONIDES: In good faith, No.

EUCLIO: Nor know who has taken it away?

LYCONIDES: In good faith, No, to that as well.

EUCLIO: But if you should know who has taken it away, will you discover it to me?

LYCONIDES: I will do so.

EUCLIO: Nor accept of a share from him, whoever he is, for yourself, nor harbour the thief?

LYCONIDES: Even so.

EUCLIO: What if you deceive me?

LYCONIDES: Then may great Jupiter do unto me what he pleases.

EUCLIO: I’m satisfied. Come, then, say what you wish.

LYCONIDES: If you know me but imperfectly, of what family I’m born: Megadorus here is my uncle; Antimachus was my father; my name is Lyconides;

Eunomia is my mother.

EUCLIO: I know the family; now, what do you want?

LYCONIDES: I want to know this. You have a daughter of yours?

EUCLIO: Why, yes, she’s there at home.

LYCONIDES: You have, I think, recently betrothed her to my uncle?

EUCLIO: You have the whole matter.

LYCONIDES: He has now bade me announce to you his refusal of her.

EUCLIO: A refusal, when the things are got ready, and the wedding’s prepared?

May all the immortal Gods and Goddesses confound him, so far as is possible, by reason of whom this day, unhappy wretch that I am, I have lost so much gold!

LYCONIDES: Be of good heart, and speak in kindly terms; now, a thing—may it turn out well and prosperously to you and your daughter.—May the Gods so grant—say.

EUCLIO: May the Gods so grant.

LYCONIDES: And for me, too, may the Gods so grant it. Now, then, do you listen.

The man that admits a fault is not so much to be despised, if he feels a sense of shame when he excuses himself. Now, Euclio, I do beseech you, that what unawares I have done wrong towards yourself or your daughter, you will grant me pardon for the same, and give her for a wife to me, as the laws demand. I confess that I did violence to your daughter on the festival of Ceres, by reason of wine and the impulse of youth.

EUCLIO: Woe is me! What shocking deed do I hear of you?

LYCONIDES: Why do you exclaim? You whom I’ve made to be a grandfather now at the very wedding of your daughter. For your daughter has just been brought to bed in the ninth month after—calculate the number; for that reason, in my behalf, has my uncle sent his refusal.

Go in-doors; enquire whether it is so or not as I say.

EUCLIO: I’m undone utterly; so very many misfortunes unite themselves for my undoing. I’ll go in-doors, that I may know what of this is true. (He goes into his house.)

LYCONIDES: I’ll follow you this instant. This matter seems now to be pretty nearly in the haven of safety. Now, where to say my servant Strobilus is, I don’t know, but yet I’ll wait here still a little while; after that I’ll follow this man indoors; now, in the meantime, I’ll give him leisure to enquire of the nurse about my doings, the attendant of his daughter, whether she knows the truth. (Moves as if going.)