Chapter 2

(Enter LACHES and SOSTRATA, from the house of the former.)

LACHES: O faith of Gods and men! what a race is this! what a conspiracy this! that all women should desire and reject every individual thing alike!

And not a single one can you find to swerve in any respect from the disposition of the rest. For instance, quite as though with one accord, do all mothers-in-law hate their daughters-in-law. Just in the same way is it their system to oppose their husbands; their obstinacy here is the same. In the very same school they all seem to me to have been trained up to perverseness. Of that school, if there is any mistress, I am very sure that she (pointing at SOSTRATA) it is.

SOSTRATA: Wretched me! when now I don’t so much as know why I am accused!

LACHES: Eh! you don’t know?

SOSTRATA: So may the Gods kindly prosper me, Laches, and so may it be allowed us to pass our lives together in unity!

LACHES: (aside.) May the Gods avert such a misfortune!

SOSTRATA: I’m sure that before long you will be sensible that I have been accused by you undeservedly.

LACHES: You, undeservedly? Can any thing possibly be said that you deserve in return for this conduct of yours?

You, who are disgracing both me and yourself and the family, and are laying up sorrow for your Son. Then besides, you are making our connections become, from friends, enemies to us, who have thought him deserving for them to intrust their children to him. You alone have put yourself forward, by your folly, to be causing this disturbance.

SOSTRATA: What, I?

LACHES: You, woman, I say, who take me to be a stone, not a man.

Do you think because it’s my habit to be so much in the country, that I don’t know in what way each person is passing his life here? I know much better what is going on here than there, where I am daily; for this reason, because, just as you act at home, I am spoken of abroad. Some time since, indeed, I heard that Philumena had taken a dislike to you;

nor did I the least wonder at it; indeed, if she hadn’t done so, it would have been more surprising. But I did not suppose that she would have gone so far as to hate even the whole of the family; if I had known that, she should have remained here in preference, and you should have gone away. But consider how undeservedly these vexations arise on your account, Sostrata; I went to live in the country, in compliance with your request, and to look after my affairs, in order that my circumstances might be able to support your lavishness and comforts, not sparing my own exertions, beyond what’s reasonable and my time of life allows. That you should take no care, in return for all this, that there should be nothing to vex me!

SOSTRATA: Upon my word, through no means or fault of mine has this taken place.

LACHES: Nay, through you in especial; you were the only person here; on you alone, Sostrata, falls all the blame.

You ought to have taken care of matters here, as I had released you from other anxieties. Is it not a disgrace for an old woman to pick a quarrel with a girl? You will say it was her fault.

SOSTRATA: Indeed I do not say so, my dear Laches.

LACHES: I am glad of that, so may the Gods prosper me, for my son’s sake. I am quite sure of this, that no fault of yours can possibly put you in a worse light.

SOSTRATA: How do you know, my husband, whether she may not have pretended to dislike me, on purpose that she might be more with her mother?

LACHES: What say you to this? Is it not proof sufficient, when yesterday no one was willing to admit you into the house, when you went to see her?

SOSTRATA: Why, they told me that she was very ill just then; for that reason I was not admitted to her.

LACHES: I fancy that your humors are more her malady than any thing else;

and with good reason in fact, for there is not one of you but wants her son to take a wife; and the match which has taken your fancy must be the one; when, at your solicitation, they have married, then, at your solicitation, they are to put them away again.

(Enter PHIDIPPUS from his house.)

PHIDIPPUS: (speaking to PHILUMENA within.) Although I am aware, Philumena, that I have the right to compel you to do what I order, still, being swayed by the feelings of a father,

I will prevail upon myself to yield to you, and not oppose your inclination.

LACHES: And look, most opportunely I see Phidippus; I’ll presently know from him how it is. (Accosting him.) Phidippus, although I am aware that I am particularly indulgent to all my family, still it is not to that degree to let my good nature corrupt their minds. And if you would do the same, it would be more for your own interest and ours.

At present I see that you are under the control of those women.

PHIDIPPUS: Just look at that, now!

LACHES: I waited on you yesterday about your daughter; you sent me away just as wise as I came. It does not become you, if you wish this alliance to continue, to conceal your resentment. If there is any fault on our side, disclose it; either by clearing ourselves, or excusing it, we shall remedy these matters for you, yourself the judge. But if this is the cause of detaining her at your house, because she is ill, then I think that you do me an injustice, Phidippus, if you are afraid lest she should not be attended with sufficient care at my house. But, so may the Gods prosper me, I do not yield in this to you, although you are her father, that you can wish her well more than I do, and that on my son’s account, who I know values her not less than his own self. Nor, in fact, is it unknown to you, how much, as I believe, it will vex him, if he comes to know of this; for this reason, I wish to have her home before he returns.

PHIDIPPUS: Laches, I am sensible of both your carefulness and your good-will, and I am persuaded that all you say is just as you say:

and I would have you believe me in this; I am anxious for her to return to you, if I possibly can by any means effect it.

LACHES: What is it prevents you from effecting it? Come, now, does she make any complaint against her husband?

PHIDIPPUS: By no means; for when I urged it still more strongly, and attempted to constrain her by force to return, she solemnly protested that she couldn’t possibly remain with you, while Pamphilus was absent.

Probably each has his own failing; I am naturally of an indulgent disposition; I can not thwart. my own family.

LACHES: (turning to his wife, who stands apart.) Ha! Sostrata!

SOSTRATA: (sighing deeply.) Alas! wretched me!

LACHES: (to PHIDIPPUS.) Is this your final determination?

PHIDIPPUS: For the present, at least, as it seems; but have you any thing else to say? for I have some business that obliges me to go at once to the Forum.

LACHES: I’ll go with you. (Exeunt.)

(SOSTRATA alone.)

SOSTRATA: Upon my faith, we assuredly are all of us hated by our husbands with equal injustice, on account of a few, who cause us all to appear deserving of harsh treatment. For, so may. the Gods prosper me, as to what my husband accuses me of, I am quite guiltless. But it is not so easy to clear myself, so strongly have people come to the conclusion that all step-mothers are harsh: i’ faith, not I, indeed, for I never regarded her otherwise than if she had been my own daughter; nor can I conceive how this has befallen me. But really, for many reasons, I long for my son’s return home with impatience. (Goes into her house.)